Blogs | 3/24/2009 4:36:54 PM | John Gurtler
A Denver native, John Gurtler has been the voice of the Buffalo Bandits the past six seasons. Gurtler has also done play-by-play with the Rochester Americans and Buffalo Sabres and has served as the stadium voice for the Buffalo Bills. Gurtler will share his thoughts and unique perspective each week with Bandits fans.
Members of the Buffalo Bandits' fan community, I present before you today a case of the team's department of defense and hereby request your review and consideration that, beyond a reasonable doubt, the schematics and subsequent Bandit-playing defensive specialists have the necessary wherewithal to retain their position as legitimate contenders for the 2009 Champion's Cup.
Placed precisely at the 188-foot mark of said 200 feet in length playing surface, positioned evenly at said marker of 82-foot and 55-inches, each of 85-foot width, stand two vertical one-half-inch metal pipes, painted red, joined by a rigid top crossbar, 4-foot-9 apart, and the top crossbar four feet from the playing surface.
Noted in aforementioned position centered from the goal line, placed 12 feet from the end of enclosure. Accordingly, said posts, crossbars and poles fit a cone shape netting of one-half-inch mesh.
A 5-inch goal crease accents such striping that, too, for said protection of territory for positional player, hereto known as, Goaltender, a circle created from midpoint of previously-mentioned crease of nine 9-foot-3 following mark one foot behind said marking of crease.
This epicenter of activity, known as "the goal" and its previously mentioned marking is protected by a heavily contoured padded playing personnel, a.k.a. Goaltender, who, in many cases is peppered by a hard rubber ball projected by said strength of opponent, known as attacking forward. The move is catapulted from a wrapped pocket of mesh down the throat of an attached head from a fixed shaft of 40 to 46 inches, as an extension of arm.
These goaltending personnel are occasionally know to "dance to a different drummer" or bark at moving objects or verbally assault such offensive personnel who try to "grubstake" their claim in front of such previously explained property on the playing surface.
Closer to the tale of the tape with introductory paragraph, from hereon known as The Bandits, said netminder has been scouted and endorsed, and known to be some of the best at what the position calls for. Submitting the names of Kenny Montour, Michael Thompson and Findley Wilson.
An example of such above-mentioned goaltending status has been displayed time and time again during the 2009 campaign. But, ladies and gentlemen of Banditland, no better of said goaltending was performed in front of opponents from the forest-like players of Portland Oregon, than that of one Kenny Montour.
Ranked No. 1 in the statistical columns of save percentage, goals against, saves and ounces of sweat left on said synthetic turf, Montour tied a Bandit team record by allowing only four of said rubber league-approved balls into such formation as explained in Exhibit One.
There were 38 shots of intent flung with orchestrated moves towards the alias known as "Monster" and 34 of them were absorbed by this fifth-year All-Star and subsequently deflected elsewhere to supporting members of the Bandit's defensive fleet.
So proudly Messer Montour held the Jax at bay - and as I lean towards you in confidence, members of the Banditland community, at bay by some very unusually large personnel, one of almost seven feet (6-foot-10).
Exhibit Three calls attention to the lead master of said ring of Bandits, GM and Head Coach Darris Kilgour, for the assembly of defensive playing personnel for the noted Saturday night encounter, where at wit's end, and prior to said match, coach Kilgour called for a complete "return to the basics" of defensive employment.
A masterful move to stop cover-ups and back to one-on-one defense and, most important, take away the time and space. Such witness to that was Saturday night, the Bandits defense was able to perform those maneuvers diligently within the defensive proximity of 31-feet by 85-feet.
Exhibit Four: The defensive members of the Bandits, all with the gifted ability to play this extremely fast and physically demanding game, were awash from the worries of what one was to be doing during the attack from opponents, and, too, what everybody else was doing – subsequently the job was not getting done.
The angst of worrying was extinguished last Saturday night and the return of playing as a unit and faith in the system took precedent.
In closing, esteemed members of such faithful following Bandit fan community, the open space the attacking player wanted was negated and such time to make shot or pass was taken away, leaving little more than red welts on the ones who attempted.
No more "second slide" to allow such meandering or playing in, on, or around members of the Bandits defense. These men mean business, and business they will take care of.
The Portland opportunities were snuffed, and that exercise should be a lesson learned. And, too, engrained into each member of the Bandits defense corps in effort to employ similar tactics in front of the rather talented and rich scoring personnel of the New York Titans, the Bandits next opponent this Saturday night at HSBC Arena.
In fact, no more of the words "a complete collapse from top to bottom."
The defense rests.